How I’ll love you (both lightly and forever)

You were free to stay or leave. I am free to love you either way.

Lightly

For me, love is always a carefree sort of affair. I love lightly. (And when things stop working, I say something, and then I leave. As you’ve seen.)

One explanation is that I’m love avoidant. But the other explanation, or perhaps a deeper one, is that: I have no dominion over you.

The only claim I have is the one I choose for myself — it is my prerogative to wake up each morning and feel how I’ll feel about you; to feel any which way I’d like and continue to recommit if I so choose. But that doesn’t mean I can ask the same of you.

Ultimately, it was me who left. But if you had, I would have let you.

But at the same time, you leaving is just one half of it. In the same way that you decide your feelings, I can go on deciding mine.

Forever

You have agency over yourself. But I have agency over my feelings toward you. Those are mine to keep.

I’m grateful to have at least had some time together, which will fade into a pleasant, pretty blip in what is otherwise the fabric of our lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close