Why being broken up with by my boyfriend was so very traumatic and difficult for me

A few words from me, too.

A response to Ginny Hogan’s article on The Hairpin

Hey, thanks for listening. I’m going through a really rough time.

I, a loving and wonderful girlfriend, just got dumped by my boyfriend for no clear reason except that being single sounded fun.

I mean, I assume this was the reason.

Really I was more focused on how I felt than understanding his reason why. But literally that’s the only possible reason, because I am loving and wonderful. As I said.

I’m having a really hard time with it.

When he broke up with me, I started crying uncontrollably. Do you know how hard that was for me? It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to deal with. I was kinda mad at him, to be honest.

Why did he do this to me?

I know I was the only one having a hard time with it, because he only almost teared up — for like a second.

Tho to be honest, even if he said this was difficult for him too, I would have scoffed at him. Because that is ridiculous. He can’t hurt when I’m hurt!

He wasn’t going to stick around and “explain” to me why he wanted to break up, which frankly is fine because I care more about my feelings than his.

Plus, I already know how he felt.

I know it was especially hard for him to pull the cord on this relationship because I was such a great girlfriend. Some guys are unlucky enough to have girlfriends who cheat on them or emotionally manipulate them. I didn’t! And he just doesn’t know how lucky he was. Furthermore, I showed him nothing but unconditional love and support for all of his dumb undertakings.

All of which I found dumb but still unconditionally loved and supported.

Because obviously I know what unconditional love and support looks like.

So I would definitely know when I’m showing unconditional love and support for dumb shit that I think is dumb.

Anyway. I was totally loving and supportive and never expressed any judgment or criticized him (I mean, to his face), even when he wanted someone to tell him it was a good idea to buy a $600 drum set because he thought it’d be fun to bang on things loudly. He didn’t have anyone there to support him in this difficult decision. I said he should get it if it would make him happy. Then he got the drums. I let him use my Amazon Prime account. Then I got irritated that he did.

All he wants to do is bang on things loudly. I was nothing but loving and understanding and supportive.

Which is why it was so difficult to end things with him. Have you ever been dumped by someone when you are the most positive, kind, totally self-aware and empathic person in your life? Not to mention loving and wonderful. It’s really awful.

Today, I wanted to text him so badly, but I knew I couldn’t. It’s like I really lost my best friend. A best friend I resent. Whose feelings matter less than mine.

Everything is so hard. Breakups are the worst. I’m just having such a hard time right now.

I’ve decided to take the lady-like route and not use dating apps at all in the first two weeks of our break up. I know what you’re thinking — this isn’t the time for me to be a heroine. But I always want to do the right thing, even when it’s not the easiest.

And by “right thing,” I of course mean “whatever doesn’t hurt my feelings.”

I only wish I could find one — just one — other person who isn’t 100% focused on THEIR crap so much.

Everyone but me is so self-absorbed.

I just don’t know if I’m ever going to get over this. It was so hard to break up with him. I don’t really think he’s the love of my life, but what if he’s the only man who will let me show my “love” with masked resentment, unhealthy attachment, and doing the dishes?

You’re right — I’m being crazy. Every man should let me do that.

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