Sometimes moving on from an “almost” relationship is hardest
It could’ve been something. But now you’ll never know. And that web of “what if’s?” will haunt you.
It was almost and then it wasn’t
You had the beginnings of something in your hands, felt its texture as real as the roughness of his face in your palm, and then felt it slip through your fingertips, an amorphous shape you couldn’t hold.
He almost texted you enough. He almost reached out to you enough. He almost cared enough.
He almost liked you enough.
Maybe you would have met his friends. Maybe he would have introduced you to his parents. Or maybe he did, maybe they even liked you. Maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe he would have called you his girlfriend and taken you out on dates. Maybe he would have made this thing real, and committed to something that looked more like “forever.”
What hurts the most is only having your half
It hurts knowing that you weren’t on the same page, or wondering if there was any point you were.
What hurts is investing and loving and then sitting with the embarrassment of trying; of realizing that you misread every single thing he said and did when he was around you, and then have to accept everything he didn’t do when you wanted him to.
You wanted to believe that he liked you; that he wanted you; that this could be it. You thought he felt the same thing during that first long goodbye hug; those infrequent good morning texts. You wanted it to all mean something — to him as much as it did to you.
You thought he cared about you. At least as much as you cared about him.
But your half of reality wasn’t reality.
He didn’t see your situation the same way that you saw it. He never intended to commit.
To him, you were an almost. The girl who was almost good enough.
And now all you have is a shadow of almost
And shadows are hard because there’s nothing to grasp.
How to move on
You shouldn’t feel stupid for misreading his signals.
You shouldnt feel embarrassed for thinking it could be something.
You shouldn’t feel dumb about investing your care, your attention, your time.
You definitely don’t have to feel like you made a mistake falling for him, even though he didn’t fall for you, too.
Even though your almost relationship never developed into an official relationship, those moments are valid.
You still shared something that mattered, however fleeting.
It was still real.
And you still matter regardless.