Honest answers to some of the questions Hinge asks

Not that I’ve used the app. Just in a “survey” mood, I guess.

yeah, there’s totally a dick. I left it.

So, I don’t use dating apps.

But I’ve heard of Hinge just like I’ve heard of others, and I recently learned that Hinge asks all kinds of questions — because their algorithm is based on the answers.

The dating app attempts to find out more about users through a series of questions, the answers to which will be used to find the most unique experiences users have in common.

And here are some of my honest answers to those (which, by the way, I would probably totally use on the app if I had it.)

Where To Find Me At The Party

What party? Where? I highly doubt I’m at that party. Even if I was at that party at some point, I’ve probably already ghosted by now.

Dream Dinner Guest

My real-life partners like to ask this and I like to answer “you.” And it’s honest.

I’m just not the fangirl celebrity-hound type (even for the likes of, I don’t know, Ghandi) and I am the sort who lives her life appreciating my actual dinner companions rather than wishing they were Selena Gomez instead.

My Last Meal Would Be

Something home-cooked. And cookies. So many of them.

Go-To Dish To Cook

lol, literally hard-boiled eggs. I don’t cook.

I Got Detention For

Mostly skipping school when I just didn’t feel like going.

I turned out alright.

My 2016 Resolutions Were

Only one — to build a business. (Spoiler: I did.)

The Working Title For My Memoir

I’m working on it. Title tbd.

I’ll Never Tell My Grandchildren

Anything, probably, because I hear “kids” are a prerequisite and I’m not sure how those are gonna work out.

Pet Peeves

Everyone likes to say “bad drivers” and “dumb people” and “liars,” and it’s like “omg, Carol, obviously.”

So my answer is “people like Carol.”

Favorite Disney Movie

I mean, none? Because I’m an adult?

But… as a kid: Lion King, Pocahontas. Later on, Emperor’s New Groove, because David Spade.

Favorite “princess:” Mulan. (Duh.)


I’d Donate A Kidney For

My immediate family and most of the 2–3 dudes I dated for longer than a year (like, still.)

Fact About Me That Surprises People

I don’t have tattoos. People always think I have tattoos. Probably something with the motorcycle, or maybe my love of the f-bomb? Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure it’s some backhanded compliment.

What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up

An architect.

But then I heard about all the bullshit they have to go through early on in their career, and I was like “lol, no thanks.” After that I learned about “entrepreneurs” and that sounded way cooler, because if I was good at that, I could be an architect afterwards anyway — or just hire a bunch. Win:win.

My Dream Job If Money Didn’t Matter

My dream job would still be something where money matters, because little delights me more than “market play.” Also, it’d look a lot like what I already do.

Dream Vacation

I don’t “vacation” well, as you might recall from my brutally honest dating profile.

Favorite Holiday Tradition

I’m going to start a new tradition this year called “going anywhere but home.” There may or may not be a sing-along song involved.

Most Embarrassing Song On Spotify

Most of them, tbh. My taste in music is not great. (Like, ranges from “pop” to “90’s country.”)

On My Bucket List

Bucket lists are bullshit. They’re sad and set us up for sad lives.

Either do the thing or don’t do the thing. But don’t put the thing on a pedestal.

My Simple Pleasures

The motorcycle. Cheap coffee. Cheap beer. Sunshine, heat and humidity.

Go-To Karaoke Song

Whatever you want to sing, because I’m not singing.

My Personality Type

Pretty sure INFJ, but I went my entire 20s thinking I was INTJ or INTP.

My Childhood Crush.

Danny Zuko, of course.

Current celebrity crush, however: Paul Rudd. He is creme de la damn creme.

Unusual Skill

Getting up early in the morning, even without an alarm.

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