Some Tough Love Because I Care
If you think your life sucks, it probably does. If you think you deserve more, you probably do.
The only thing holding you back from what you want is you. And the excuses you make — like what you incorrectly assign to other things.
You are not a victim of your own life. If you think the world is out to get you, it’s because you’ve victimize yourself and it rushes in to fill that energy void, receiving your negative energy with negative energy. You see negative because negative is what you put out.
You will never achieve what you want if you spend your life as a victim — if you do the same mediocre, hapless thing but expect great things to happen.
If you never get what you want, that is no one’s fault but your own. You are the only one who is standing in the way.
Life doesn’t owe you anything. If you want something you have to work hard for it — not make excuses as to why you don’t have it, or whine and complain.
One of my good friends is a dude now in his mid-30’s whose primary goal in life is to find his wife. He’s tall, has a fantastic job, dresses well, owns his own place, and — most importantly — has a heart of gold. In other words, has tons of the shit most people look for on paper. But the dude can’t find a partner.
But he also refuses to do anything differently. I’ve known him for over five years and he still goes to the same bars and uses the same sites. I hired an interpersonal coach to help me with sales after a few months of running my business — a woman whose primary business is actually dating coaching: helping people find their spouse. I referred him to her, but he never called. He makes enough money — he just doesn’t want to try.
I have another friend who — same thing — also wants to find a husband. And again, she thinks she’s trying — she puts in effort for dates, she “puts love out there” right away, and when each one doesn’t work, she always asks me: “what am I doing wrong??” But the problem is that she doesn’t actually want to be doing anything wrong. She doesn’t actually want to change. She doesn’t actually want to hear the answers. What she actually wants is to keep going into these relationships doing exactly what she’s always done and for that to magically work. And I’m not saying it won’t work out for her because I’m sure it will, but it might help the process along a little bit if she actually tried a bit, too, rather than only thinking she was.
People will say you have to “work you ass off” and “work really hard” to get what you want. And yeah, that certainly helps. But so many people aren’t trying at all! They think they’re trying but they’re off in left field, doing things that don’t work and too consumed with making excuses to ask questions and experiment — and take responsibility for the outcome.
Don’t stand in the way of your own life. Don’t pretend your life is someone else’s job — or at the hands of the universe. Quit making it about anything that isn’t “you.”
If you want your life to get better then start living like it. Start doing something positive in the right direction and don’t stop until you get there, then keep going.