Stop Breaking Your Own Damn Heart

Stop holding yourself to hurt


Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough.

I know you do this because we all do it. I also know you do this because nobody not doing it is reading this. We are the troubled, and we read things like that and know it’s for us, because we know it’s true. I say we because I do it too, from time to time — I think “heartbreak” is the most beautiful human emotion and I wallow on occasion — and I tell you there’s no shame, because there isn’t.

But we also all have a choice, and many of us are choosing.

You think you deserve that pain, but you don’t.

Stop thinking you’re not worth happiness and emotional wellbeing, because it’s a basic need to which each person is entitled — if they only pause and claim it.

Stop blaming yourself for every failure.

Stop blaming others as well.

Stop ruminating on finding who’s to blame for anything that goes wrong; stop obsessing on where it should be placed.

Stop hanging onto history; stop flinging the windows open into the cold front; stop leaving glass panels hanging on their hinges in the wind.

Speak to yourself the way you want others to speak to you

Love yourself — first — the way you want to be loved. Nobody is going to love you more, and if anybody other than your mom swears otherwise, run.

Speak kindly to yourself. Speak to yourself with positivity and care. Accept and embrace yourself the way you want your partner to.

Reconnect with the most positive spirits in your life, where you can make forward progress, rather than obsessing over the past.

Embrace love over heartbreak

Be your own best friend, your own cheerleader, your own soulmate.

Speak with words of love and encouragement. Speak with patience and kindness. Speak forgiveness and optimism for all you’ve learned, and what’s to come.

Treat yourself with love, and do not bind yourself in heartbreak.

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