And you’re not doing it wrong
And now for something a little lighter…
So many of us struggle with a continual feeling that we’re doing things wrong. We’re uncertain how we should be living our lives, and have a nagging feeling we could — or should — be doing it better.
We scramble to do what we think we “should” be doing, to fill in perceived gaps, to minimize shortfalls between ourselves and everyone else. We agonize over optimization and feedback; we desperately want the “answers” so we can do what we “need” to and “improve.”
We think we’re the only ones falling short, but we’re not.
Mark Manson wrote,
“What a lot of people now identify as ‘major life problems’ are really the natural ebbs and flows of life.”
And we wind ourselves up so tightly that we end up sinking into procrastination and guilt and shame and sadness. And then indulge in distractions or comparisons or, simply, comfort.
Leo Babauta wrote,
“I’d like to assure you that you’re doing nothing wrong… you don’t need to optimize or do things better.”
The “answer” is actually in quiet.
It’s learning to sit with ourselves. And be at peace with ourselves, as we are — without shaming or running through our list of things we need to do that day or recounting whatever we did yesterday or beating ourselves up for guilt we feel in some aspect of our lives. And mostly certainly without thinking “how can I do better?”
You’re okay. And all of your okay-ness is already available to you, ready and waiting for you.